Once upon a time in Texas, there was a girl with an appetite and a dream...


Wow! THAT hurts.

I went today for my post-winter leg waxing--time to trim the hedges, cut back the grass, take off the winter fur. As always, it was rather unpleasant. My mom called me as I was having the hair ripped out of my calves, so you can only imagine how attentive I was.

Me: Hello AHH?
Mom: Hey Tra, what are you doing?
Me: WAAHxing. AH!!
Mom: Does it hurt?
Mom: You want me to let you go?
Mom: Well, I'm going to look for paint for the living room today. Any suggestions?
Mom: I'll call you back later babe.
Mom: That's ok! Love you.

I don't have to tell you that those weren't sighs of relaxation. What actually precipitated this self-torture was not the encroaching swimsuit season, but a little visit that I have make to the hospital to have some hopefully competent Italian doctor explore my stomach with a camera tomorrow (Thurs). I didn't want to confuse anyone. I thought it was better to get rid of my monkey legs rather than have the nurse mistake me for a hairy Mediterranean man and proceed to examine my testicles.

Anyway, I might not be in tomorrow, but I have a fabulous excuse. I am sure that the prognosis will be good and since I will have to starve between now (12:00a.m.) and tomorrow morning, they will likely find that the only thing threatening my health is mortal hunger.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Tra after trying to talk to you on the phone today it sounded to me as though the procedure tomorrow will be a piece of cake. Seriously, I will send a prayer up for you tonight sweetie.
Love you, Mom

4/19/2006 9:32 PM

Blogger Annika said...

hahahaha sorry... hahaha.. it's just... *rotfl*

4/19/2006 9:55 PM

Blogger Sicilian said...

I think the hair thing offically makes you Italian by hair.
I am sorry that you'll miss your prosciutto for the duration of the fast.
Sending a prayer up for you and praying that your doctors are able to find the answers with their little tiny camera.

4/19/2006 11:34 PM

Blogger Darbs said...

I still haven't gotten the nerve to do waxing other than my eyebrows...and your post is not helping...LOL.

I hope your doctor appreciates the lengths that you went to in preparing for your procedure!

I'm hoping, praying and wishing that all is well with you...keep us posted.

4/20/2006 12:12 AM

Blogger Cynthia Rae said...

Best wishes to you. I am not sure which way they are going in with the cam, but either sound unpleasent.

I had this done 2 years ago. They were supose to give me drugs that would keep me from remembering, but didn't give me enough. I remember the WHOLE thing! Ugh!

Well, I hope by the time you read this that you will have had the test. Otherwise I might have just freaked you out.

Have a nice lunch when you return.
Buona Salute!

4/20/2006 12:38 AM

Blogger cristina said...

you love the dentist's chair and i love the waxing bed! :) yep, started to wax when i was 14 and haven't stop since. It is "HA!" and not "AH!" LOL. Good luck at the doctor's.

4/20/2006 7:28 AM

Blogger Dear AL said...

After reading what you went through, there is no way in hell I'm gona let these two girls wax my jewels! Wasn't gona let them anyway. Long story!

4/20/2006 8:48 AM

Blogger Miss Kim said...

Ewwwww... i tried that waxing thing ONCE and I have the scars to prove it! Ouuuuuuch!

4/20/2006 9:08 AM

Blogger Susan in Italy said...

Waxing, eeesh! Gives me the heebee-geebees just thinking about it.

I just forwarded your post Pasqua a tavola to a student of mine who likes learning about Americans' perspectives of Italy. Your post was my first choice.

In boca al lupo for your procedure.

4/20/2006 10:04 AM

Blogger Amy said...

Waxing hurts like heck! Ouch!

4/20/2006 11:04 AM

Blogger Gurgo said...

That makes me even more happy to be a man!

4/20/2006 11:59 AM

Blogger Tracie P. said...

thanks everybody! i am officially suffering from post-traumatic stress after my hospital visit. it seems that everything is ok, technically, but i will have a new reason to get heartburn every time i think of the gastroscope--i'll fill you in tomorrow.

as for the waxing, all i can say is, smooth legs and no shaving...che bella! i think it's like childbirth, you tend to forget the pain when you see the result. unfortunately, i can't say the same for the scope...

4/20/2006 12:27 PM

Blogger A Novelist said...

AHHHH...that made me laugh out loud. On a serious note, I hope everything went okay with your doctor's appointment. :)

4/20/2006 12:32 PM

Blogger Sangindiva said...

I have never waxed but my time is coming soon...
I await your hopital update!

4/20/2006 1:41 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...


Hope everything turns out okay. And don't let them touch your testicles, no matter how badly they need to hear you 'cough.'

4/20/2006 7:54 PM

Blogger Dayngr said...

Yes! it is very much like childbirth. While you are going through it you are thinking to yourself "I am NEVER going to do this again EVER!" but when you see the glorious result it becomes a distant memory. That is until the next time and then you think to yourself... "OW, OW, OW, I can't believe I am doing this again. And for the record.. I love getting my eyebrows waxed and I really love after when they tweeze all the little hair they missed. Guess they don't call me Dayngr for nothing!

4/20/2006 10:22 PM

Blogger Edward said...

I saw that scene in 40 year old virgin. I can't imagine a more painful way to spend my day. Are smooth legs really worth it? I mean, don't they have chemicals or radiation that will do that for you?

4/21/2006 6:06 AM

Blogger Tracie P. said...

can't afford laser yet, chemicals hurt even worse--for me it's worth it bc shaving is torture...

4/21/2006 6:17 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not to brag or anything, but just had my 4th laser treatment (just one more to go!) and I am looking fabulous, darling. And no more waxing.

I highly recommend it. Worse than a gyno appointment, but way better than a waxing.

4/26/2006 2:09 AM


Post a Comment

<< Home