Once upon a time in Texas, there was a girl with an appetite and a dream...

3.27.2006

I needs me a job

30 year college graduate seeking work. Preferably, job must be high-paying, with little or no office time or work-from-home time. Must require no effort, physical, mental, or otherwise. I will be accepting interviews only from employers in the "no boss" sector.
Strengths:
*I am an enthusiastic sunbather
*I love to dine in good restaurants
*I have a distinct ability to nap at any given moment and I am very tenacious in my efforts to stay asleep
*I am a highly dedicated smart-ass
*I have an unparalleled love for prosciutto
*I am assertive with my opinions regarding wine consumption, odd behavior of Italians, and whether or not Martha Stewart annunciates her Ts out of correctness or pretension.
I would be an obvious asset to any company seeking individuals who have mastered the art of an eloquent, intelligent happy hour debate about why Brad Pitt left Jennifer Aniston, as well as a honed skill for imitating Donald Trump.
If you are a passive employer who needs to fill a position in your company with someone as qualified as me, please call immediately, as long as it is not before noon, or during the hours of Law and Order (original and SVU), E.R., or The Bachelor.

25 Comments:

Blogger Lori said...

oooo ER... is that still on regular TV here? I remember this summer it was, but i since cant find it, and its impossible to find episoides online to download. I need my fix of ER! I will sacrafice nights out if it means staying home to watch it :D

3/27/2006 3:37 AM

 
Anonymous lao-ocean-girl said...

You're living in Italy... what are you doing for money?

3/27/2006 4:31 AM

 
Blogger Tracie B. said...

hhmm, nothing right now...see post "i needs me a job"

;)

3/27/2006 4:34 AM

 
Blogger nyasha said...

my hubby read somewhere about a "pizza taster" position. Now that is something worth looking into. ;) well, if you don't mind the extra kilos. (it won't work like wine tasting where you spit the wine out afterwards... ;)

3/27/2006 5:15 AM

 
Anonymous Franc said...

The work you're looking for is "Trend watcher freelance specializing in 5 star hotels/restaurant located in paradise islands".

I'm looking for it too... ;-)

3/27/2006 5:35 AM

 
Anonymous Randy said...

That's my baby girl!!!!! You know how jealous your older sister will be if you find that job.

love ya, Dad.

3/27/2006 7:29 AM

 
Anonymous J.Doe said...

I hope you find a job like that -and then make a post if there are similar openings.

3/27/2006 8:35 AM

 
Blogger american girl in italy said...

I think I already have that job... hehe

3/27/2006 8:44 AM

 
Blogger Expat Traveler said...

Although my job comes in a close second, my job that i will be searching for once I get my immigration to Canada will be just that! I'll just have to change a few of my tv shows to Dr. Phil, Oprah, Rick Steve's and Don't forget Your Passport...

Yeah I'm odd like that... But I'm not there...

3/27/2006 10:01 AM

 
Blogger ramblingwoman said...

Another ER fan. How I LOVE that programme. Always have, always will.

Am I the only one who really fancies Dr Clemente? (I mean REALLY fancies) He makes me feel odd all over!

3/27/2006 10:51 AM

 
Blogger Annika said...

...which reminds me that the new season of ER starts tonight! Yay! Although my husband just started watching Gangs of New York so I might not be able to see it. Well I should be sleeping anyway.

3/27/2006 11:51 AM

 
Blogger Chantel said...

Actually with this resume you should start your own company and then hire a bunch of people just like you.

I'm always looking for something good!! I work too hard.

3/27/2006 3:59 PM

 
Blogger Frog with a Blog said...

When in Naples, do as the Napolitans do: pretend you work, look very busy, wear sunglasses and sit a café and behave like you're on a constant break from work. Wave that scarf a lot and talk on the phone, hold a pen & pretend you write in an daily planner, then have another coffee, 'cos it's time for a well deserved break!

3/27/2006 4:25 PM

 
Anonymous Misty said...

tra
i don't know what dad is talking about, but i LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE my job. i get to stand on my feet for 12 hours all night long answering the demands of sick people, all the while MISSING MY FAVORITE SHOWS like CSI, Charmed, and The Dead Zone. oh yeah, and any lifetime movie!!!!!
misty

3/27/2006 4:30 PM

 
Blogger Sicilian said...

Tracie the posts are as funny as the blog today. . . . let me know when you find that job. . . I'm sure I could break away from mine to learn a new trade :)

3/27/2006 6:06 PM

 
Blogger Dear AL said...

Hey, I can imitate Donald Trump to, watch! YOU'RE FIRED! Pretty good, huh?!

Tracie, if I ever get a business off the ground, and need someone to hangout with, I'll keep you in mind.

I think it might be a while before you find a job, you're overally qualified, but good luck anyway!

3/28/2006 1:12 AM

 
Blogger Gurgo said...

In case you found such a job, could you mail me the employer, maybe he needs someone, studying silly things, too.

3/28/2006 3:13 AM

 
Blogger Stelle In Italia said...

ooh, i think i want the kind of job you want. i am similar about my ability to sleep! i wonder who is looking for a full-time napper? :)

-Jackie

3/28/2006 3:52 AM

 
Blogger Teena said...

May I be your back-up?

3/28/2006 1:00 PM

 
Blogger Tracie B. said...

hey everybody, don't listen to my sister misty. she makes lots of money.

on the job searching topic--haven't heard nuttin yet. i can't believe it, can you? maybe they are just trying to decode all of the complex vocabulary that i used. it takes time, you know.

3/28/2006 1:49 PM

 
Blogger nikinpos said...

um , I need a babysitter....but the commute wouldn't be worth it!

3/28/2006 2:54 PM

 
Blogger Dayngr said...

Tracie,

You crack me up!

4/03/2006 3:16 AM

 
Blogger Maisha said...

lol!tracie,you funny...

4/24/2006 4:30 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i laughed so hard i thought i would wet my pants. good for you- living your italian dream, then knowing when it is time to "go home". i lived in france for 2 years, then in italy for 2, all on a sailboat. settled in austria in april 2003, then met and married an austrian- but i am itchin´ to move back to italy. we live in the austrian alps and it's a little too quiet here. thanks again, robin

4/10/2008 11:35 AM

 
Blogger info said...

Ciao,
questa è la prima volta che leggo il tuo blog e questo post fa troppo ridere! Mi sa che scrivi davvero bene! Non vedo l'ora di leggere oltre le tue avventure e di conoscere un po' meglio la tua storia che mi incuriosisce un sacco!
A presto, Anna Maria

10/02/2008 5:23 AM

 

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