Trust, I Must

Wow. I've discovered an entire blogging community of courageous people leaving their lives to find new ones in Italy. It's been wonderful to find that element out there of (mostly) women who are ready to make the great trade of the familiar for the unknown. Reading through these blogs lately, I find myself in an emotional conflict--I just can't believe that my life in Italy...my dream, that tenacious itch that needed scratchin', shall we say...has come to an end. Even to admit that in writing is a bit frightening.

Though reading about these folks who are pioneering this modern American diaspora definitely inspires a bit of incredulous blues-sangin' nostalgia in me, I remember this: I chose to come home for a reason, just as I chose to leave almost 5 years ago. Today I have my own new trails to blaze--they may be old beginnings, but they are new starts to a remodeled life, nonetheless.

This current version of myself, created by a crazy 27 year-old who left everything to chase her passion across the ocean with a backpack and an empty Austin apartment, has turned 32 and is ready to get what she finally knows she wants.

That (not-so) silly 27 year-old gave a gift of an unforgettable experience to me. One that has enriched me and given me peace and a DESIRE to be still, for a while anyway. She gave me permission to be home and enjoy family, friends, and hopefully success.

She trusted her heart then, as I'm trying to trust it now. She brought me back home. I want to be home.

And for that I tell her thank you.

Part 2?

Well so much for "catching up." Forgive me for deciding not to recite every boring reason for my absence. Let's just say that I came home with so many recent good times at my back that I was reminded why leaving is so damn hard.

I closed Italy with the very same person who helped me open it. I let go of dying relationships, some with people, others with places. I thought I would return to Italy to live, but knew I wouldn't.

Please don't ask me what this all means because I'll have to tell you that my life is no longer Italian. But...I'm on to a new adventure.

You coming?