Once upon a time in Texas, there was a girl with an appetite and a dream...


Talking in Texan, Lesson Three

After last week's challenging footnote, I hope you're ready to move on. Here we go!

boll: boil, pronounced...well, "boll"
contextual example: We done ate 'bout 200 pounds of bolled crawfeesh thuther day.

thuther: the other, pronounced "thuuuuhther "
contextual example: (you may also see the example for boll)
Person A: You wont thiswin?
Person B: No, I wont thutherwin.

Do you smell that? I think my spell-checker is burning...

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I've entered what appears to be Hell, and upon its foreboding office door in pubescing script are the words "substitute teach in your local high school!" I feel that I must have conducted cruel scientific experiments on innocent third-world children in my past life, because I seem to be paying off some wicked karma...

...nasty 9th grade karma that cusses like a seasoned sailor who's been ripped off by a one-legged hooker.




...he puts 'dem girls on ROCKROCK.

Just in case you have missed seeing pictures of my family (HA), here are some more more pics of our growing little Tobey.

Ahwaddawaddababycutiepie! Aaahwaddawaddababycutiepie! Oh yes he is! Oh yes he is! (Shut up. If you were holding that little chunky boy you wouldn't be able to control yourself either.)

LOOK at those delicious cheeks! You know you wanna to pinch 'em.

Didn't you always hate the aunt that did that to you? Now I understand. Totally.

Isn't he getting big? The Tober (that's my niece's nickname for him--kid'll never figure what his name is) has gained about 2 pounds in 10 days, and just for moral support, so have I!

That's what I call being a dedicated aunt.

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Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt: Steps


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I took this picture out of the window of the "office" of the yacht marina where I worked last summer. Some people have all the fun, and I just bet that summering on a yacht helps tremendously, don't you think?


Talking in Texan, Lesson Two

So I hope that y'all have been practicing your new Texan vocabulary. Now that we have muhskeetas under our belts, let's learn some compound words.

mamanim: (noun, plural and/or singular) mom and them, as in your mother, or sometimes used to refer to one's entire family

Contextual Example:
Nephew: Uncle Ricky, can I have a coke?
Uncle: I don't know Brady, you better ask your mamanim.
Nephew: She said yes.
Uncle: Alright, what kahnyouwont (kind you want)?

Charmin', idn't** it?

**idn't: (contraction) meaning "is not", pronounced "idnt," soft on the d, and dropping the t. Sorry folks, stay with me. We have entered some complex, muhskeeta-filled dialectical territory here.

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The Weekly Whine-o

Well you know it is nice when magazines like In Style attempt to educate the masses on anything wine-related, but I think that somebody in the research department needs to be scolded by a Frenchman.

Wow, Sancerre is a varietal? That's what you deserve for getting your wine info from a fashion magazine...that I will totally forgive if they put Reese Witherspoon on the next cover.
In the next issue they will try to convince us that Barolo is a varietal that means nebbiolo in English. Are you buyin' it?
**Post-publication: I realized that it may be helpful if I explained the mistake instead of simply making fun of it. I just assume that everyone out there knows more about wine than me, but just in case that isn't true, I'll explain myself. Sancerre is found in the eastern Loire Valley in the northern half of France and is famous for its Sauvignon Blanc. Although there is a small production of red and rose' (made from the varietals pinot noir and gamay), what you will find in the U.S. is mostly their minerally, herby, and utterly sassy whites. As with most wines produced in the old world, the region (Sancerre) is synonymous with the varietal (Sauvignon Blanc) or varietal blend. This came from the wisdom of centuries of wine producing experience. Many wines were made from indigenous grapes, which were naturally well-suited for their respective environments, which meant that there was no need to state the varietal on the bottle because it was all just understood. Now that's my kind of philosophy.



Talking in Texan, Lesson One

I've spoken to y'all before about how Italians pronounce our English words and now that I'm home visiting I would like to share with you how we Texans (Southeast, at least) like to pronounce our English words. This is the first in a series of vocabulary lessons that will have you speaking of the old republic like a true native.

Lesson #1

muhskeetahs: more commonly recognized as mosquitoes

Contextual example: "Well you jist cain't watch the game with awthese muhskeetas!"

See how easy it is!

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My Mom Quoted #1

"Hey Ricky, try this cheese. It tastes like throw-up, but it's good."

--Mom trying (not-so-convincingly, I must say) to get my uncle to taste the Gruyere.



Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt: Clean

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I just bet that I'm not the only one with an image like this. It's painfully crooked but as I've proven time after time, I'm no pro. This is a picture of Naples and everything on that line is destined to be hammered by a ferocious steam iron. Even the underwear.

Watch out! You could be next...

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...and it feels so good."

I went to Austin last week. I lived there from 1995 until 2003, when I left for Italy. I love that city, but most of all I love the tacos. My friend woke me up Wednesday morning uttering the most beautiful words I've heard since someone taught me how to pronounce prosciutto:

"Tracie, I brought you some Taco Shack."

This, if you don't already know, is one thing I miss when I'm in Italy. And she showed up with a box of carne guisada, eggsbeansandcheese, sausageandegg, and...my all-time favorite:


With just a little bit of fresh and spicy salsa it's enough to make your stomach wonder what it ever did to deserve such a rude awakening, while making yo' mouth wonder what it ever did to deserve such pleasure.

And what could be more exciting than such sensory ambivalence? I don't know! Well, maybe I do. Whatever.

"We both are so excited 'cause we're-UH reunited hey hey..."

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